Best of Miss Manners: Nope, these newlyweds won’t get money from me for their snorkeling lessons

Miss Manners answers a question about bride and groom’s requests for money to be spent on their honeymoon

Judith Martin, known as Miss Manners, answers a question about bride and groom’s requests for money to be spent on their honeymoon.Canva

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a relative who has been living with her boyfriend for a few years now. Last year, they took a vacation to Asia and got married while on their trip. It was basically an elopement, as no one knew until after the fact.

My relative has just sent out a social media post informing friends and family that the last year has been hectic and they’ve made the decision to forgo a reception. They plan on continuing to “celebrate their marriage in a more intimate way, as they see people individually” ... whatever that means.

In lieu of gifts, they’ve booked a honeymoon in Hawaii. She then gave a link so people could contribute money for snorkeling and surfing lessons.

Maybe I’m too old-school, but is this normal? Will I be in bad taste if I don’t contribute to their snorkeling and surfing lessons?

GENTLE READER: You can certainly be forgiven for noticing that your relative only had time between her vacations to stick out her hand for more. Or for not wishing to participate in their marriage in a more intimate way.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

If you purchase a product or register for an account through a link on our site, we may receive compensation. By using this site, you consent to our User Agreement and agree that your clicks, interactions, and personal information may be collected, recorded, and/or stored by us and social media and other third-party partners in accordance with our Privacy Policy.