Miss Manners: I offended an elderly couple when I told them I wanted to keep the aisle seat in the pew

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My child’s choir held a concert at a large, historic church. I arrived early and took a seat on the center aisle, where I would have the best view of the singers.

A short time later, an older couple arrived and asked to share my pew. I stood up to allow them to enter. The gentleman indicated that I should go ahead of them, to which I replied that I would like to stay on the aisle. They seemed taken aback and walked off to find other seats.

Does etiquette dictate that those arriving first to an event held in a church must always move to the middle of the pew? Or, as I thought, is it equally polite to stand and allow others to enter?

GENTLE READER: You acted politely within the facts you describe. But before anyone condemns the elderly couple, Miss Manners will also commend you on a second point: not tackling them in the aisle.

Perhaps they are regular parishioners who sit in these seats every Sunday and had, mistakenly, come to think of them as theirs. Perhaps they have a disability issue and therefore wanted you to move aside -- but omitted the necessary politeness of asking you to do so.

If either of these things had been true, your staying put would still not have been impolite. But perhaps their surprise at your refusal to relocate would not have rankled as much, had you known their reasons for asking.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)