Miss Manners: My boyfriend’s ex stayed with us, broke things and then complained about me

"Miss Manners" Judith Martin

"Miss Manners" Judith MartinCourtesy Andrews McMeel Universal

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My boyfriend’s ex moved to our city and asked to stay with us for a week while renovations were being finished on her new apartment.

While she was here, I found broken drinking glasses in the garbage, twice, hidden under a paper towel. After the second time, I said it wasn’t a big deal, but asked if she could let us know they were there so we wouldn’t accidentally cut ourselves.

She was offended and complained to my boyfriend, who said it was rude of me to say anything. Could I have handled it better?

GENTLE READER: You handled both the situation and, luckily, the garbage, remarkably well.

Breaking things and hiding the evidence is not polite guest behavior. Miss Manners hopes you take some solace, however, in this woman making it obvious why she is your boyfriend’s ex. She will leave it up to you to decide if his calling you rude and siding with her is worthy of making him your ex, too.

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DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother’s grown child is transitioning from female to male and is now called Gary. I love Gary and accept his choices. My brother is having a hard time. Gary has a toddler who calls him “Mum.”

My question is: When I introduce Gary to someone, do I call him my nephew or my niece?

GENTLE READER: Why not ask Gary?

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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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